A chief executive role can sound prestigious and it can be empowering to be the one making the big decisions – but it also has its pitfalls.
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If you talk to a chief executive of any charity they will likely say the same thing – it’s an honour and privilege to be in the role. They’re helping to make a difference to the causes that matter and being the final decision maker, at least in day-to-day operations, brings a certain level of responsibility. But it can also be lonely.

At Charity Times we speak to leaders from organisations of all shapes and sizes. Along with the conversations around the cost-ofliving crisis, fundraising and recruitment shortages, there are increasingly those who admit they are struggling and lonely in their roles.

Working from home has contributed to some of this, but the nature of the position lends itself to isolation – if not in the physical sense, but mentally, too. Despite sometimes having hundreds of staff and colleagues, or even a team of two or three, leaders often feel they must be the strength in difficult times. Even with increasing conversations around mental health, many charity CEOs say they often feel they cannot speak to colleagues about issues they may be struggling with themselves. Due to the nature of hierarchy, as a chief executive, many claim they have no true ‘friends’ at work.

Finding the balance

Half of CEOs, according to separate surveys by RHR International and Harvard Business Review, feel lonely in their role.

In both surveys, 61% also felt that this feeling hindered their performance. In times of crisis, such as the recent pandemic and current issues surrounding the cost of living, there is immense pressure attacking from all sides. Demand has increased, while funding streams tighten, and wellbeing of staff is highlighted. Good performance by leaders is seen as essential to help organisations weather the storm, but where do leaders turn if they are the ones struggling?

Similarly, a recent snapshot Charity Times survey found that although many preferred to work from home (69%), nearly half (44%) said they definitively felt lonelier as a result, with 25% admitting they occasionally felt lonelier.

There is no doubt that working from home is seen as a desirable option for the workplace, and it has changed many things for the better – but not everything. The natural support systems an office can provide have been lost. Ad-hoc conversations with colleagues in the communal kitchen have been exchanged for less regular scheduled Teams meetings and trips to grab lunch with a colleague has been swapped for eating alone at desks.

Working from home means there needs to be a more concentrated effort in reaching out to talk, network, or even to gain human interaction, a feat that not everyone feels they have time for, or realise could be beneficial.

The survey found that some did make an effort in finding ways of connecting with colleagues, such as in-person (50%), video or phone calls (63%) or joining online networking groups (25%), but there were still 6% who hadn’t.

And whilst it was a 50/50 split when Charity Times asked if leaders would like more online opportunities to meet people, 63% wished there were more in-person events to meet colleagues.

Taking the first step

The statistics only tell part of the story. Feeling lonely isn’t an easy thing to admit, but Charity Times’ ‘Secret CEO’ column has had a number of anonymous submissions on the subject.

One writes: “I am losing enthusiasm and I’m caught in a vicious cycle of expecting to fail. Sooner or later the staff have to notice that everything I’m trying is turning to ashes. “I feel like a football manager on a bad run of form. Sooner or later the chair of the board has to invite you in for a ‘quiet chat about your future.”

Another small charity CEO of a team of seven talks about the feeling of being the ‘fixer’, juggling managing the finances, grant applications, organising strategy and picking up the panic-calls on the weekend when something goes wrong. “I don’t want to let anyone down, but everyone assumes I’ll know the answer,” they say.

Support is essential and this is something the sector is aware of; there’s a reason people have line managers and a chain of command. But what support is there once you’re at the top? This is particularly relevant for small charity CEOs, who are predominantly working alone.

Often, they’re told to turn to the chair or trustee board, and whilst Charity Times’ snapshot survey found many have great support from their trustees (38%), 25% said it was ‘okay and could be better’ and 32% said there was no support. Meanwhile, 75% felt they got ‘enough support’ from other members of the senior leadership team.

One survey respondent said many charities are struggling with positive leadership and “seriously lack” any kind of support from trustees and the senior leadership team. “The general consensus is that the third sector is fire fighting the same situation. Lack of immediate funds, lack of staff, lack of forward thinking from the higher powers and the ever-increasing need of the charity’s services…I have so much more to say but I have to work.”

Leadership membership body, ACEVO, says they aren’t aware of an increase in members reporting feeling ‘alone’, but does admit the CEO role can be isolating. “Even when relationships and teams are strong with senior teams and trustees – the CEO is always ‘holding’ things.”

If what leaders are looking for is more support, what does that even entail? A listening ear can be invaluable but should there be processes to consciously get chief executives out of their own bubble and talking with other colleagues? Leaders may be able to admit they’re lonely to an impartial ear, but it’s potentially much harder to talk to someone on the same level as you about it – even if there is the likely chance they’re going through the same thing.

ACEVO encourages its members to “take time, be aware and notice how they are, reflect often and build support systems”. This can involve finding peers, a mentor or coach, writing and reading as well as time in nature away from a desk/office. “These are very much initial first steps to consider what next to build their personal resilience,” it adds. The membership body offers its members 1-1 support services about anything they are struggling with, all confidentiality. From there, it has partners or further support offers depending on the issues raised.

Be honest

For many, it’s a stressful time to be a part of the sector, and that doesn’t seem to be abating. As a chief executive, that stress can pile on until it’s too much to take. Consultancy Lark Owl
recently published a report highlighting the “unsustainable” levels of burnout.

“The pace of work has increased and there seems to be no let up! Expectations are high.”

Other organisations have noticed this too. Amanda Tincknell, CEO of the Cranfield Trust spoke to Charity Times in March for a Q&A, where she explained that the subject of burnout and stress has cropped up more and more.

“We’re now seeing a lot of people close to burnout. We had one of our clients this week let us know that she’s taking four months off work.

“Another of our colleagues in Scotland said that she’d been for a briefing meeting with a charity and the woman she was meeting just cried the whole time. She was just dramatically overstressed. She just said, ‘well, at least I was there to listen to her’. But people are exhausted and facing a difficult time.”

The pandemic may have introduced a new, better, way of working but it’s important not to be ignorant to other issues it’s exacerbating.

As one Secret CEO admits: “Being a charity CEO is lonely. I’m the pinch in the hourglass between staff below and trustees on top. That loneliness gets worse when I don’t share my authentic self. In this job I’ve had to learn how to read a balance sheet, work Wordpress, talk to funders, manage staff, and a dozen other things, but the most important skill that I’ve had to develop is this: being honest with myself.”

Taking that first step is the key, from there things can only go upwards.

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