Nicola Graham, CEO and founder of Reuben's Retreat, which supports families who have suffered the loss of a child or have a child living with medical complexities answers some questions on leadership, the sector and her work.
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Melissa: In a nutshell, what does your day-to-day role look like?
Nicola: I am a slave to my inbox/calendar, it drives my day on a daily basis. I check my priorities and plans for the day first thing and then map out my day and my engagements. I then set off a series of alarms on my phone dependent. I am very hands-on with our vital beneficiary work, I am very approachable, and my door is always open and I am involved with every aspect of our charity, which means there’s always lots going on. We are a small team of 10-11 not all full time and we are a very mighty team, and we all rely on each other to support.

Melissa: What are the biggest challenges your organisation currently faces?
Nicola: I think because what we do is unique, it is sometimes difficult to find that right person to fit that specific role, this coupled with us needing more than we ask for in terms of capabilities as we are so small and all hands on, I would say that recruitment has been and is often tricky for us to navigate. But worthy team members come through and boy were they worth the wait. I think most charities would also say the same, the ever-changing landscape of fundraising is hard to plan for and to manage. You must be very nimble.


Melissa: And, in your opinion, what are the biggest challenges the sector faces?
Nicola: I think the fundraising arena is tough. Standing out from the very big crowd that is charity, being creative and constantly thinking of ways to evolve. This includes applying for grants, and the twists and turns that each individual and unique application and process brings can often be challenging. Rightly so, as these hard-earned pennies have a responsibility to be distributed correctly, wisely and with integrity.

Melissa: What do you love most about your job?
Nicola: That it is the closest I can be to my angel boy. Walking and working hand in hand with him to deliver his legacy. I made him a promise and I honour that promise every working day with my love for him. I know the pain of child loss and my daily grief drives me to do the very best that I can for our families that we are so honoured to support and serve. They trust us and I/we don’t take that responsibility lightly.

Melissa: Finally what advice do you have for other charity leaders?
Nicola: It took me a long time to understand the importance of self-care and things that I could do to support myself. Find something to do for you, to relax, unwind and take stock. You will never know all the answers, it’s impossible, but someone will know them and often does, find them. Finally, if you are coming from the right place and doing what you think is the right thing and the best thing in the moment, then that’s ok and it is always enough. Be as kind to you as you would a friend in need. Managing and leading can often be a lonely place, reach out to your peers.

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