As I prepared for maternity leave, I now realise I was attempting to be the CEO of motherhood – an unrealistic approach involving spreadsheets and a baby business plan!
_______________________________________________________________

When my partner and I decided we might like to become parents, I started looking for wisdom from other charity leaders. How on earth had charity CEOs ensured they left their organisation in a responsible position whilst they were away? How do you design an interim role when you wear so many hats?

Eventually though, once the existential dread about my ovaries had truly kicked in, I called up the ACEVO crisis line and spoke to the lovely Jenny. I cried a bit, but ultimately, I felt relieved by her encouragement that I shouldn't let my commitment for the cause and our organisation stop me from doing something for myself. Jenny was right. I was lucky to be well supported – I know, sadly, not everyone is.

Preparing for maternity leave

When I found out I was pregnant I put most of my energy into planning for my departure whilst trying to manage the anxiety and sometimes sickness that comes with hosting a baby and growing organs. With the support of my colleagues, Chair, and a HR consultant, I oversaw a really robust recruitment process for our interim CEO.

I also had an away day with my mentor several months in advance of my due date (definitely consider a mentor if you don’t already have one!) and had overlap with our Interim CEO so we could handover in person. Frankly I felt like I was smashing this whole pregnant CEO malarkey.

Meanwhile outside of work, I tried to prepare for the baby arriving. I compiled a spreadsheet of everything I needed, lovingly co-produced by asking other friends and colleagues with babies what I should prioritise. I had my hospital bag packed well in advance. I used my research skills to ensure that I made the ‘right’ choices. I signed up to all the classes. If I had been able to design myself an appraisal for preparedness for having a baby, I would’ve scored very highly.

I now realise I was trying to be the CEO of motherhood.

When our baby arrived in January 2024, I was initially overwhelmed with feelings of joy and relief. I was keen to regain some sense of normality and control but soon learnt that it wouldn’t last.

I remember someone describing first-time parenting as being hit by a train – and I felt that in my core. I had spent so much time preparing the logistics that I hadn’t understood what was truly in store for me. Having built up a career where I was at least starting to feel competent, suddenly I felt like I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.

Just a couple of months earlier, my typical week involved delivering a keynote speech, writing a new business case and digesting policy developments. Now my week consisted of trying to pump enough milk to keep my baby alive. Becoming a parent is the best thing I’ve ever done - but it’s fair to say I was completely out of my depth.

It really is true what they say, though - things can and do get better with time (and a little bit of help). With thanks to the support of various organisations, professionals, friends and family members, after a few weeks, we felt better able to leave the house. We started smiling and laughing again. And then we were able to create a year of memories and realising the real privilege of being a parent. I guess that, like my CEO journey, I’d got through the hardest part of the learning curve.

Preparing the return to work

Throughout my maternity leave, I benefited from monthly catch ups from our interim CEO and Chair as well as some catch ups with fellow parents, so I knew what challenges and opportunities I’d be returning to. When it came to thinking about returning, I knew I wanted to work differently. I wanted to have a feeling of balance and, for me, that meant being realistic about what I needed in place to be a mentally healthy and sustainable leader, and for the wellbeing of my family to be protected. I am fortunate that the organisation supported me to return to work part-time.

I will admit that I did cry on my first day back, largely because I couldn’t remember how to use half of our software, but within a few days I was really enjoying getting stuck back in. And I was in awe of the incredible work the whole team delivered whilst I was on maternity leave. It is humbling and rightly challenging to realise that you aren’t needed as much as you might think.

I recognise that by getting out of the way, not only have I changed, but so too has the team and organisation. Now it’s on me to ensure I keep leading in the way I know is needed. In short, I can save more of the mothering for my daughter. And I can become a better mother by working on being a better coach.

I hope that if more of us can share our stories about leading whilst growing babies and parenting children, and all the ways in which it's helping us grow into better leaders, then hopefully more of the next generation will feel like they don’t have to say ‘not yet’ for too many years, and will truly feel that it's not just possible, but it’s also an attractive prospect, to be a CEO with a baby.
______________________________________________________________________

Rosie Tressler is the CEO of Student Minds, the UK's charity for student wellbeing and mental health. Awarded an OBE for her work with the Higher Education sector, Rosie is also a Trustee for the Mental Health Foundation and lives in West Yorkshire. www.studentminds.org.uk

---